This depression has made it difficult for me to get out of bed and bathe myself, let alone leave the house. It has affected my academic life and my romantic relationship.
When I do manage to leave the house, dressing myself has lost all of its joy. I've had about a week and a half's worth of outfits on rotation since about January (though I've had to augment that roster a bit now that we're having intermittently warmer weather).
Also, because I have very little money (I work two days a week, for a little bit more than minimum wage), and because I tend not to leave the house if I don't have to, I haven't been buying any clothes lately. Even when I took a trip to the mall a few weeks ago with a couple of my friends to pick out a date outfit for one of them, the only thing I bought was a holographic nail polish.
Nail polish has been one of the only things I have been buying, apart from absolute necessities. I've actually become kind of a compulsive polish collector. I buy it whenever I'm feeling sad and need a quick pick-me-up.
Even though I haven't really been feeling better lately, my depression has gotten to the point where it is actually ruining my life, so I've had to kind of struggle to pull myself up by the bootstraps and try to function again.
I'm now finished all my exams for the semester, but I still have five essays to finish. I suppose I should be working on one of those instead of writing this, but ho-hum. Once I'm finished those, I'm free for the summer.
I thought that maybe one of the things I could do to recover this summer would be to start blogging again. I've decided that this will be the blog with which I accomplish that. Since nobody reads this right now, I'm going to just roll with it for a while, and if I can achieve some sort of rhythm I'll start spreading the word on my other social media.
Anyway, I figured that I could give a quick overview of some of the things that I hope to do this summer:
- clean my room (it's a mess)
- organize my bathroom drawer (it's also a mess)
- DIY nail polish rack (plastic ones are hella expensive)
- join the Ord Brighideach (I need Brighid's inspiration back in my life, and I find that the day-to-day processes of worship help to make one's spirituality more present in one's life)
- get my hair dyed (teal or dark green, I think)
- dress up to see The Great Gatsby
- move out of the hell that is suburbia
- j'ai besoin de pratiquer mon français (I've signed up to take French again in the Fall)
- write a self-motivated research paper on queer homeless youth
- read books
I really wish I still had a camera. Maybe I can get a small one off of eBay or something.
I feel like I should post some pictures from my instagram on here or something. Nobody likes text posts.
