(Tune in to Channel 4 Monday at 10 p.m. for the Series Premiere of Skins!)
To be honest, I've never been too fond of (or good at) setting (and keeping) goals. Back in elementary school we used to have to write a goal in response to every report card. I hated it. I never had any idea what to write. I usually used to cop out and say that I would, "read more books," because I knew that I would do that anyway (these days, that seems like more of a valid goal for me). I especially hated making an 'action plan' to go along with these goals. All I could ever think of was that I was going to try. What more could I do? Maybe that's why I've never been good at keeping to my goals, or breaking and creating habits.
Anyway, because of my aversion to goal-setting, I haven't really been making resolutions in recent years. I'm fairly sure I probably made a resolution last year, but I can't for the life of me remember what it might've been. Whatever it was, I doubt that I kept it.
If that is the case, at least I know that I'm not alone. Something like 88% of resolutions are not kept (thanks, random YouTube video that I watched a couple of days ago). I think that because of all the buildup, there is an incredible amount of pressure surrounding resolutions made at New Year's, moreso than at any other time of year. Personally, I have never bothered making a resolution until, at most, a few days before New Year's Eve. And honestly, if you think of one any significant amount of time before the new year, why not just start working towards it then?
For some people, the beginning of January might not be the best time to start a new lifestyle, or affect any massive changes. Habits take a heck of a lot of time and practise to make stick. Because of the pressure put on New Year's resolutions, the failures often hit harder than with other goals. So, when we fail, we might think, "Ah well, I'll do better next year." Meanwhile, it's the middle of February.
While I can definitely appreciate the symbolism of New Beginnings that is associated with New Year's, the idea that it is the beginning or the end to anything is fairly arbitrary. The difficult stuff won't get any easier. The good stuff won't disappear. Not at midnight, at least, like Cinderella's carriage turning back into a pumpkin.
This year I'm not making any concrete resolutions. Or, if I am, I'm not telling you. Around this time last year I heard that telling people about your resolutions makes you less likely to succeed in pursuing them. This has to do with the feeling of validation for doing something good that you get when people congratulate you on your new goals. Because you've already had this need for validation satisfied, you then feel less driven to follow through with those goals.
I will tell you, infuriatingly vaguely, that this year I want to do things. So many resolutions focus on not doing things, cutting back, or 'self-control', especially amongst women. The Clothes Horse wrote a post about this a little while ago. She asserted that instead of making negative resolutions (i.e., "I will eat less take-out"), we should resolve to make positive changes instead (i.e., "I will cook a healthy meal for myself at least once a week"). That is to say, instead of focusing on subtracting undesirable things from your life, try to think of positive things you can add. This is especially useful if the things you're adding can help replace the things you want to get rid of (so instead of simply resolving to spend less time on the internet, leaving yourself hopelessly bored, resolve to read more books, which will help keep you occupied). We may have bad habits that we want to eliminate, but it is easier and more effective to make goals about things we can do, rather than things we shouldn't.
I know that many people celebrate New Year's as an end to the old year, and as a fresh start, but should we not look back fondly on our successes from the past year, and celebrate our accomplishments? 2013 was kind of a wasted year for me. This time next year I want to be able to reminisce about good times I had, rather than wiping the sweat from my brow and saying, "Thank god that's over."
